What makes people who they are.......

My very first blog was about why I had written anything for a while and what my mother and I had went through and like I had said before during our time together she told me somethings about my family I never knew I may write about them sometime. There is one story I felt I need to share. I had this cousin and her name was Carrie Mae. I really didn't know to much about because she was an adult while I was still a kid. I really admired her photos from back in the day because she was so beautiful I mean she could have been a young Lena Horne's stand in, but as beautiful as she was she a major drinking problem and a habit of picking men that treated her like dirt.

During one of my conversions with mom she began to tell me of Carrie Mae's life. First of this happen in the late 50's early 60's and desegregation was just a dream. My family lived is a small southern town I mean it is really a BFE (Bum Fuck Egypt). Well back in those days if you were a person of color and your parent's divorced and there where children involved it went down like this. The court's gave custody of the daughters to their fathers and custody of the sons to the mothers I don't know what the reasoning behind that was. Well, Carrie Mae's parents divorced and she was given custody to her father. Now I know you're thinking he must have abused her. There was abuse but it wasn't the father. Carrie Mae's father remarried this woman named Cali Edna who for some reason couldn't not stand Carrie's birth mother. The divorce happened when Carrie was about three or maybe even younger. Carrie's stepmother use to tell her the most horrible stories about her mother which the family found out about later on. She would tell that her mother didn't want and she just got rid of so she could run around and chase men when you are a young kid you trust in adults completely especially back then.

So during the summertime the town held a county fair and the let African Americans attend on one certain day. On that day both families were on the fair ground. Carrie's mother saw her and called to her she just wanted to hug her. Carrie began to cry and back away from her. Her mother said, "Don't you know me baby I'm your mother" at those words Carrie gave way to a full out bawl and ran to her stepmother who stood there with this smirk on her face. It was at that point the Carrie's mom walked up to
Cali Edna(step mom) and slapped the shhhh.........Chicago out of her.

As Carrie began to get older things didn't improve for her for one thing while her father was at work her step mom began to have affairs and bring men home and they would offer Carrie money and treats not to tell another thing that began to happen was the beatings Cali Edna began to give Carrie. You might ask why didn't her father do something because I did and I found out the reason Aunt Florence (Carrie's mother) divorced him was because he was weak. He wasn't a bad man just weak. Cali Edna was also tell him she punished Carrie because she wouldn't mind and he would tell Carrie just do what your mother says.

One day when Carrie was about twelve she got the worse beating of her life and she wore a long sleeve blouse to cover up the welts and bruises. She show them to her friends when the teachers weren't around and they told if I were you I would run away and Carrie did. During recess she walked to the local sheriff's office and told them what happened the sheriff asked her ( and this is messed up) if she wanted to be put in jail. That's put Carrie in jail and not Cali Edna. I think it must have taken all the strength in the world for a 12 year old girl to walk into a red neck sheriff's office to get help and the first thing he asks is if she wants to go to jail. Anyway Carrie replied no I want to go were my mother is because my step mother is mean to me. The deputy sheriff drove her to Aunt Florence's house with was 5 miles away.

Her stay with her mother would be brief because sure enough the courts gave her back to her father ( remember y'all this is in the 50's and 60's)things still didn't get any better when Carrie began to reach courtin' age as the old folks used to call that when something really traumatic happened to her. I don't know if Cali Edna did what she did out spite because she didn't like Aunt Florence but deep down inside I suspect the Carrie's father still had feeling for Aunt Florence and never really got over her and Cali Edna took it out on Carrie Mae.

Mom told me in those days if you were a girl and had a problem you got taken across the river to get rid of that "little problem" remember there were no abortion clinics in those days ( at least I don't think so) however in certain communities there were people who knew how to do things even though they were not medically trained. So Cali Edna took Carrie Mae to one of these people mind you Carrie wasn't pregnant. Cali Edna's reasoning was and I quote it as it was quoted to me,"This gal done reach courting age I am not about to have her getting no baby for me and Square(that's what they called Carrie's father) to take care. The so-called attendants held Carrie done and the problem fixer did his job. In shore Her step-mom took her to this person to have her fixed like you would and cat or a dog. Well needless to say the job was botch she lost a great deal of blood and developed a fever and had to be taken to the "coloured hospital". Cali Edna's objective, however, was complete Carrie would never have children.

Mom said she was never the same after that Carrie married but divorced and the tragic pattern of her life began to develop even further. It was drink that took away her beauty and her life she died of cirrhosis of the liver. I learned that day you never really know what a person has been through. I mean it easy to say if that had been me I'd done this and I'd have done that but you really don't know not until you hear the whole story of what makes a person the way they are. Don't worry I don't just to tell sad melancholy stories. I have funnies ones and ones with happy endings too.
Until next time